The Fantastic Misadventures of Bonnie and Clyde
by Her.Vanilla.Majesty
Summary: — In which thieves are makeshift heroes and small-town girls are whisked off to nonsensical adventures in search of a legendary sword, with redhead tyrants nipping at their heels the whole merry way. —
1. Chapter 1

Re-edited first chapter, but please enjoy...

-HVM

* * *

**Prelude**

Ordon Village can be found in the very bottom of common Hylian maps, small and secluded with its anti-social yet seemingly natural barriers, shrouded in trees and the scenic wildlife so often lacking in far-away cities. You can see the tiny imprints within the marked area, tracing out a civilization, tiny dots pointing out that _yes_: there is life there.

Life. Lively, yet humble. One would charitably call it lively, so as to avoid pointing out the glaring fact that it was undeniably poor as well.

A stream trickles down through a sea of grass at the heart of the town, snaking through small bridges and a haphazard collection of colorful bijous, simply bursting with families and such amazingly simple conversations that would make a city-dweller's head spin about at the lack of gossip.

In this town lived a young woman.

Beautiful and sweet most of the time, though terribly shy when confronted with friendly conversation. And inside this girl was bottled ambition; ambition that would rocket her to a daringly new adventure and forge a predestined meeting with a handsome thief she had yet to meet.

* * *

She knew everything about the legends of the Hero of Time.

Zelda knew it sounded uncharacteristically arrogant of her to say –though she often said it in her head-, but it was the absolute truth.

You could ask her how long the Hero of Time had slept and she'd answer in a quick heartbeat:

"Seven."

You could ask her who the Forest Sage was and how she had come to know the Hero and she'd reply without even batting a single lash:

"Saria was his childhood friend."

You could ask her who the Hero of Time's alleged lover was and she'd blush abruptly, thrilled at the opportunity of spreading word of another's romance. Even if it was a thousand years old.

"The Princess of Destiny was his lover... _supposedly_."

You could ask her what the Hero of Time's name was, though she'd only scowl and end up smacking you none too gently across your face, disgusted by your ignorance

"No one knows, _idiot."_

And, if you're still interested and willing to receive more bodily harm for the sake of information, you could ask her about the Master Sword.

Her eyes would light up with a sudden feverishness and her lips would curl to a gentle smile.

"The Master Sword was used by the Hero of Time to end The Dark King's terrible reign and restore peace to Hyrule. It possessed the sacred, goddess-given power to let the Hero transcend through the pathways of time, and intervene between the happenings of the past and future. Legend says that the Sword will remain forever hidden, until a new Hero is sent down to our world, and only then will it reveal itself to it's true owner, gleaming with the sacred light of Farore to banish the evil and darkness that festers in the shadows of our world…"

* * *

Zelda glanced out her window, her eyes roving over the pine trees that swept over the land in gracious strokes and the jagged ravines that bordered the town. Her fingers laced together, placed under her chin as she contemplated the meaning of her life.

There was nothing for her here in Ordon. The sentimentality that anchored down her extravagant dreams had broken, the shackles that restrained her were gone. Dissolved and faded.

She glanced down at the flyer the off-kilter mailman had shoved into her hands a mere month ago. A flyer that she knew would eventually change the course of her drab and colorless life. It was wrinkled and slightly-torn, but the letters were still visible, bold and proclaiming in expert writing the very same words that had been bouncing around in her head all day.

King Ganondorf, the reclusive tyrant of the kingdom of Hyrule was sponsoring a quest. A quest that she knew only _she_ was capable of completing.

The King called forth experienced explorers from every land and kingdom to track down the whereabouts of the very same elusive, legendary Sword and present it to him within the nearing deadline of the Winter Solstice. The letter crumpled in her hands as her mind wandered back, pondering…

If _she _were the one to find the Sword and bring it back to the King, all the riches and fame she had always aspired to achieve would finally be hers. She would outgrow the humble origins she had been planted in, bringing glory and light to her name and self. Little Zelda Harkinian would be so _little_ anymore.

It was about time, really, that her ambitions would receive their calling.

That Sword would be hers, be she a Hero or not.

* * *

Short, but it is just an introduction.

**Actual chapters will be far longer than this. **Don't worry.

I'm sorry I've abandoned this story, I just felt like it needed some major polishing before I could continue...but I'm back!

Huzzah! :)

-HVM


	2. Chapter 2

Re-edited second post.

I will update as quickly as I possibly can to catch up to the chapter I've left up on. _So sorry_ for the delay, guys...

-HVM

* * *

**Chapter 1: The First Pages**

"So, in a nutshell, yes. I _am_ in fact looking for two acquaintances for my journey. But before you all explode in your seats, please refer to the requirements…" Receiving blank looks, the speaker behind the podium sighed theatrically, strips of sweaty hair falling to cover his weary eyes. "Shall we go through them together, then?" Vigorous nods all around the audience, the speaker continued. "Now, if you look at the pamphlet handed out to you, and turn to page 205, Section 8.1, Subsection 2B, you will see that you must at_ least_ be of sixteen years or older. So the rest of you whiny brats can exit this meeting right now, staying will be useless." Rusl made a shooing motion with his hands as he banged a fist on the podium, jarring a few members of the audience who had dozed off back into reality.

"Second, you need to have experiences with basic weapons such as bows, knives, swords…"

Zelda blinked tiredly.

Rusl was really letting the whole expedition hype get to his head, something that had not gone by unnoticed by the citizens of Ordon. The old man blathered on as she sighed and slumped further in her chair, attention drifting.

Yes, Rusl had indeed been able to return from his year-long journey around Hyrule and had been the first to have stumbled upon the Sword itself…or so he claimed. It seemed like utter rubbish to Zelda that this old, worn-down fogey with his aching bones and bleary eyesight had seen -much less mapped out- the very location of the ancient artifact.

In fact, if it hadn't been for the blurry black and white pictograph he'd taken back with him, Zelda -along with the 200 townsfolk- would have never attended the meeting. There was farm work to be done and no time was spared for petty matters.

But Zelda wasn't one to let opportunities slip by. She heard a huff behind her, sounding as weary and irritated as she felt. The voice was terse and gruff. "The old man's gone mad."

Zelda gritted her teeth and felt her stomach curl in hatred. _Cole._

"Why are we even in this meeting then?"

And where there was a Cole there was a _Will_, the mindless lackey who worshipped the very ground he walked on.

"I told you, idiot. We're going."

Zelda took in a deep breath. She hadn't even considered Cole's interest in the journey. He was a definite shoo-in for the part, as much as she hated to admit it.

Cole's family had been the only presiding nobles who lived in their village, the Ordon Farm belonged to them. Perhaps there had been a time when Cole and Zelda had been amiable friends, but that was before his parents died leaving him bitter and arrogant.

Zelda hated to admit it but she was glad for the Eminson's disppearance. They were vain and self-centered, barely even living in Ordon, and when they did come to visit, they'd prance around with exotic robes and jewelry bragging about how_ grand_ and_ exquisite_ Hyrule Palace was up-close and how _courteous _Lord Ganondorf had been to them.

One night, however. One eerily silent, dark night, loud shrieks echoed around the village…blood-curdling and garbled in fright.

_"Aaaaagghhhh!"_

Zelda could still remember the shrieks that tore through town that fateful night, and it had never failed to poison her sleep with nightmares. The Mayor and a few other villagers had gone out of their way to visit the location of the commotion: _Eminson Manor_. Bursting through the door, the search crowd was met with a horrific sight.

Lady Wilma Eminson and Lord Byron lay pale and bleeding on the cold marble floors, a glinting knife stuck in the woman's chest and a sword hilt protruding from the man's stomach. Amongst the puddle of dark ichor was a sobbing Cole, barely seven and rocking unsteadily on the ground, tears splattering on his ruined clothes.

He moaned and whimpered as the villagers patted his head and showered him with their comforting words, only choking out one single same phrase over and over to himself, like a sacred litany. "_They took her, they took her…"_

His mother's cold hands were clutched in his. "_They took her…"_

Ever since their death, Cole had shut down Ordon Farm, leaving many without jobs, and he then shut _himself _away in his lonely manor, refusing to associate with any commoners besides Will- the Mayor's son and Rusl, the only swordsman in town.

"Why?" Will asked his voice reeking of curousity and it broke Zelda from her trance.

Cole scoffed and answered in a deep, brooding voice. "Ugh. Anything. I'll do _anything_ to get away from this village…this_ dump_of roach manure."

That did it. _Nobody_ insulted Ordon. Not in front of her.

Whirling around, her eyes flashed angrily. "Could you two dolts_ shut up_? I'm trying to listen."

Will's eyes went wide at her sudden interruption and blushed suddenly, the redness of his cheeks clashing with the dry, straw-colored bangs of his hair. The freckles on his face were visible in the clear daylight, even through his blush. "Oh, hi Zelda."

Cole nudged him in the ribs, Will winced as the elbow landed a blow on his skinny build. Zelda turned to Cole, narrowing her eyes. He'd grown pale from his time indoors, but with the sword training from Rusl, he had developed signs of possible muscles. His brown hair was groomed and slicked back and his green eyes narrowed at her. "Don't tell me, Harkinian….you actually _think _you have a shot at going?"

Zelda glared and he took it as a 'yes.'

"_Please_, you're just a girl." He sneered.

"And you're just a groomed version of egotistic pig, yet here we are." She smiled sweetly.

"Groomed, you say? Could that be a compliment I hear?"

"I'm sorry, I don't speak pig." Zelda replied, albeit a bit lamely.

Cole sneered again -it seemed to be a trademark of his-, lips curling upward spitefully. "You've had you're eye on that sword ever since you were old enough to walk. I know it'll kill you knowing that _I_ will be the first to grasp it within my hands."

"And what makes you so sure?" Zelda snapped.

"Because I've already been picked." Cole smirked, his warm breath fanning her face. Zelda flushed with both anger and… for some reason he had seemed a bit cute…in this angle. Once pulling away, she regained her senses. Nope, still a pig.

"And SO…" Rusl's voice thundered down bringing the trio to reality. "I'd like to announce that one of my companions has already been chosen for the task."

Cole preened and smirked at her, head held high.

"No…" Zelda shook her head, eyes narrowing as she turned around to stare helplessly at Rusl. "You wouldn't..."

"Lord Cole Eminson, will you please grace the crowd with a wave?" Rusl asked.

Cole stood up, shooting her a smug look. There were some grunts among the crowd and a spattering of grudging applause. Cole looked a bit miffed. Zelda glared up at Rusl, indignation forcing the words out of her throat.

"You cannot be serious. _Him?_ Really?" Her voice carried out louder than she thought.

Rusl gave her a reprimanding look and the crowd regarded her with wide-eyed stares. "Zelda, calm down."

"This…this _dolt_ will just ruin your entire expedition! He knows nothing,_ nada, zilch,_ about the Master Sword!" Her eyes lit up with scorn and a few wise men sitting nearby, swiftly scooted away. "Did he pay you? _Bribe you?"_

"Zelda," Rusl sighed, shaking his head.

"I bet he did, didn't he? Leave it to an Eminson to use money to get anything he wants." Cole made something akin to a choking sound as she swerved around, directing a fierce glare his way. "This is _exactly_ why your parents got killed in the first place."

A chorus of gasps greeted her ears and Cole's cheeks flushed red, his brows furrowed together in anger. "Watch yourself now, Harkinian." He hissed back through gritted teeth, a muscle in his cheek jumping.

_"Zelda!_ Now, that is _enough!" _Rusl shouted, banging his fists on the podium again for emphasis. Zelda shuffled back, pink-faced, as people began to whisper amongst themselves, pointing mockingly at her.

"Cole met all requirements, and that is why I picked him. He is a master of the sword, he is entering his twentieth year, and he has enough money to provide for the trip." Rusl explained calmly, ticking off each point on his callused fingers as soon as his voice had toned down.

"That's right." Sneered Cole, crossing his arms defiantly. "Unlike you Harkinian, I've got a shot at making it through the journey. Now be a good girl, run home, and make a sandwich."

The crowd, which consisted of men entirely, burst into a hearty laughter at the taunt. Zelda reeled back, forcing tears out of her eyes. She glanced up, glowering at Rusl who's jaw was left hanging in shock. "Zelda…"

She turned and sprinted away from the Towne Centre, clapping her hands over her ears as the rowdy laughter got louder behind her, as if they were certain she was running home for the very same reason Cole had suggested..

Bitterly she mused in her head. _I'll show them._

"I'll show them all. Little Zelda Harkinian is taking over the show."

* * *

Link heard the mayor's angry cry fade behind him. "You…you rascal! Get _BACK_ here!"

A hand loosened around his waist as he urged Epona faster, grinning wickedly.

"Father!" A sharp cry sounded over his shoulder, stringy and mournful. He tightened his grip on the reins, pondering what to say.

_"You."_ He glared pointedly at the red-eyed girl saddled up behind him who stared fearfully back, breathless and flushed. "You ever pull a stunt like that again and I'll personally _fling_ you off Epona."

The girl's eyes widened, then she gritted her teeth together as her red hair flew back in wild tangles. A few minutes ago she was a vision of loveliness, with a gentle smile and perfect countenance. But somewhere between the kidnapping and relentless running around the crazy town they had just narrowly escaped from, she was far from presentable.

He refrained from sharing his opinion with her, though it hadn't stopped her from shooting another insult at him.

"You're a thief. A lying, conniving _thief._" She decided.

"_Ooh,"_ Link rolled his eyes, not one to let others slip him by, "aren't you the smart one? What gave you the impression?" He slipped on a thoughtful expression. "Me tying up the mayor or me kidnapping you?"

"You led me on!" She ranted, the tears had dried and a bit of anger melted down into the silver of her bloodshot irises. "You- you stole _everything_ from me!"

"Only because you stole everything from everyone in your kooky little town." He responded acidly, and upon seeing her mouth open to defend herself, he continued. "Your father's rule has led them into an utter mess. Children are starving, food is scarce, and bodies lie limp on the floor, ravaged and beaten by your very own soldiers."

The words sunk into the air between them as the sun dipped low over the horizon. He felt no guilt for speaking the truth.

She sniffed and her hold on his waist became impeccably tighter. Link stiffened and shifted forward. He could envision his waiting camp in the corners of the Terminian Valley, sheltered by trees and shrubbery. "You knew I wanted out didn't you?" She asked into his shoulder, voice broken and muffled by the fabric of his tunic.

"Yeah." He shrugged lightly. "I had a hunch."

"How?"

"Your face got sickly pale when the mayor announced a probable marriage with His Hideousness, the Duke of Termina." He could feel her let out a giggle into his arm and smiled slightly. "You absolutely _despise_ money, and I still can't even fathom why. And you often dress in rags whenever you come to meet me."

"Oh."

"Still doesn't change anything, though. You knew what your father was doing, and you went along with it. I think he deserves having his only daughter run away."

"But you_ kidnapped_me."

"Because you wanted to run away."

"You've got some nerve assuming that." She huffed, lifting her face away. He could feel her glare and smirked to himself, glad to be able to vex her out of her sadness.

"You've got some nerve denying that I'm right." He challenged, letting a confident drawl into his arrogant tone.

"So, you kidnapped me…_solely_ for moral reasons?" The red-head asked, her tone sly and knowing. Link took it upon himself to burst her bubble. He hated it when people got wise.

"Oh, don't be so quick to flatter yourself, Malon. I will send you back -a man can only take so much after all-, for a fine amount of ransom."

"So then that kiss yesterday…was it…?"

Link smiled inwardly to himself, bragging inside his head. _Wow, I'm good._

"You can think whatever you want of it, Miss Malon. I'll admit, I enjoyed it. But it was only to distract you long enough that my crew could crash the whole party and slip away with the Mayor."

"But the kiss was rather long, Mr. Blaines."

"I told you I _enjoyed_ it. You women sure are dense."

They rode on with admirable silence. Link surveyed her in his mind. She was quirky, smart, and beautiful in her own sort of way. He was surprised she was strong-willed enough to go with him, strong enough to accept it was all along a gamble for money. But also, for a good cause.

With no real heir to the Mayoral Seat, Mayor Talon would be thrown out and the people could live once again in humble prosperity. He was only sad that it took a kidnapping to restore the town's independence.

But at least there was a new addition to his crew. A rather pretty one too.

Yet something was bouncing around in his heart telling him that this wasn't the one he'd fall in love with just yet.

"You good with swords, Malon?" He asked.

"No, a lady does not concern herself with such things." She sniffed.

"Eh, I knew you were going to be dog meat from the start." Link shrugged.

Hook. Line. _And sinker._

_"Pardon?_" Malon glowered at him, her voice rising with indignation.

"You can't mope around in my crew, Malon. _No,_ you need to earn your stay."

"I have money."

"I don't want any money from you right now."

"That's a first." She snorted ruefully.

"Listen missy, I'm usually civil with pretty ladies but rub me the wrong way and you'll be bait for the wolves." He grinned, shooting her an audacious wink. "Besides, did I ever tell you I have a thing for female warriors?"

"And?"

"The way you hide your love for me is so sickeningly adorable and repulsively sweet, I seriously might vomit right now." He chuckled.

"I don't _love _you."

"Okay, sure."

"And I am _never _touching a sword. It was your choice to kidnap me, now you deal with the consequences."

"Fine, fine." The blonde thief grumbled loudly, letting the issue fall back. Silence reigned over them once more and night fell upon the land as they rode through the valley.

* * *

After an hour of riding, they'd made it to the Woods. The campfire roared upon their arrival and cheers were all around before malon could dismount the mare. The forest was suffused in smoke and light, revealing grinning faces and hands hoisting up drinks.

"Who are they?" Malon asked, staring at the people before her in fascination.

Link flashed her a sparkling grin, lifting up a bottle of rum to toast their triumph. He spread his arms over to the strangers and with an eloquent flourish of his hand, he proclaimed dramatically, "Miss Lon, may I introduce you to my motley crew of swindlers..._The Bonnie and Clyde Troupe!"_

* * *

Two more updates tomorrow, so don't worry. I feel so bad for this whole abrupt editing process. :(

But I'm catching up!

-Huzzah!

-HVM


	3. Chapter 3

Re-edited third post.

I will update as quickly as I possibly can to catch up to the chapter I've left up on. _So sorry_for the delay, guys...

And as for new readers, Welcome! :)

-HVM

* * *

**Chapter 2: Breakout**

The chipper gleam in the famed healer's eyes faded the moment she spotted her charge's crestfallen expression, the smiling lines that crossed her face fading . Wiping her hands on her dirtied apron, not really caring for the herb stains littered the floor and cast a spot of color on the white hem of her dress, she stood with a worried face. "What's wrong, Zelda?"

"Nothing." Was the remorse reply. She watched as the young blonde dropped her coat and basket of spices to the ground carelessly –an action Impa would have scolded at if it were any other day- and make her way across the humble living room, climbing that ladder laid on the side of the walls. Stopping abruptly in her perfunctory routine, she craned her neck back around to stare inquisitively at her silver-haired caretaker, a brow arching.

"Impa?"

"Yes?"

"…You believe…I can take care of myself, yes?"

Relief flowed into Impa's features and her mouth relaxed into a brief smile. Ah, how petty the matters that troubled young people's minds these days were. It was nearly amusing. "Of course."

"Even though I'm just a woman?"

Impa frowned. _Just_ _a woman? _Perhaps matters were more complex than she thought.

Standing straight she replied in her best, convincing tone. "Don't let your gender determine the limit of your goals, Zelda. Your mom was a woman but it didn't stop her from doing great things."

"But she _died_."

Impa's voice faltered, her eyes gradually hardening as she groped for the right words to form the best response she could muster. "Well…yes. But she died for love not because she was-"

"Will you care to enlighten me on how?" Zelda rolled her eyes, interrupting coolly and leaning back so her body swayed from the rungs of the ladder.

"The story… I'll tell it when the time is right." Impa sniffed, sensing that the conversation was treading on dangerous waters just like most of their mist meaningful talks had.

Zelda's eyes blazed. "You're just like them."

Impa turned away, casting her a glare through narrowed eyes and conveying out a firm message wordlessly with them._ Watch your words._

Zelda climbed up the ladder and swung up to her bed, trying her best to suppress the dread that snuck into her chest forebodingly at the thought of her daring plan. Of course, she couldn't tell Impa…

She glanced at a rough sketch she'd made years ago. A castle with high, peaked towers that spiraled upwards into the sky, made of slabs of marble and stone.

Why a castle?

Because it would be _her _castle, once she'd find that wretched sword.

* * *

The troupe surveyed the red-head, a lanky blue-haired fellow leaned out the wagon parked nearby and let out an appreciative catcall.

"Shut up, Mikau." Link snapped, leading Epona to the side of the clearing and tying her reins to the bough of the tree. "Really, you ought to be more of a gentleman to this fine lady."

Epona snorted, tossing her head back in agreement. Link smiled, stroking the mare's nose affectionately as she nudged his shoulder gently. Malon tried not to stare and smile at the same time.

"Sorry boss." Mikau rolled his dark eyes and perched himself on the roof of the wagon, wagging his eyebrows suggestively. "She's…_very_ impressive." He commented winking at Malon who had the dignity to roll her eyes and quickly avert it back to Link.

"You expect us to hide out here until my father builds up the guts to hand over the ransom? He'd sooner let me die than part with his gold, so don't hold your breath."

Link's eyes glinted as he offered a hand to her, which Malon ignored with an irritated huff. He scoffed, pulling it back to wipe dirt from his stained trousers. The campfire bathed his face in a warm, honey glow as he stepped forward, and his eyes blazed with confidence. "Of course not, _Princess_. I'm not that simple-minded." He gestured to the crew. "Do you see them, Malon?"

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't." She rolled her eyes.

"These lovely people are our survival tools. Operate them well and you'll hopefully live to see the next days of your life…depending on how useful they are, of course." Link crossed his arms with a small smirk.

"I'm touched Link." An auburn-haired girl replied dryly, sitting with her backs to them and tending to the hearty fire patiently. She tossed sticks of firewood to the hearth, munching on nuts loudly.

"Little Miss Sunshine over there," Link flashed Malon a blinding grin and a wink to show the name was more teasing than fitting, "prefers to be called Samuel."

_"Samus."_ The girl snapped, whipping her head around to shoot him a steady glare. Upon getting a better look, Malon found that Samus was extremely pretty, intimidating almost. She had a delicate looking face with sharp, severe, icy-blue eyes and smooth fair skin that suddenly made her own flaws seem glaringly obvious.

"As you can tell, she's the brain of the group…_well_, besides me." Link strolled along. Samus snorted, shooting him a wry smirk from behind.

"Oi! Link!" A burly voice came from the wagon and a pudgy, short fellow came out holding a large ladle pressed near his chin. "We_-a_ havin' _a-_spaghetti tonight-_a!_"

Mikau made a face that suggested he was all but happy at the idea. "Not again."

"And that…is Luigi. He has a thing for cooking Italian food and fake Italian accents." Link whispered into her ear conspiratorially and she could hear the grin in his voice.

Luigi turned red, his moustache twitched as he snarled in protest. Apparently his hearing was fine and Link just didn't seem to understand the concept of whispering. His apron was dirtied with what Malon feverently hoped was tomato sauce. "It's_-a_ not_-a_ fake_-a_!"

Link wrapped an arm around Malon, turning to whisper again, hotly. "He only loses it when you get him really riled up, excited, or when he just forgets...which happens an awful lot."

Malon giggled and Link stared at her face briefly, squinting. She felt herself warming. "Why are your eyes like that?" He asked. "Talon's were black. I've never met anyone who had…"

Malon sniffed, chin held high and near his defiantly. "I'm special, fairy boy. Deal with it."

Link frowned, opening his mouth to ask exactly _where_ the name had come from when…

"Hey! Hey Link! Aren't-cha going to introduce _us?_" A male voice piped up from behind them, high and cheerful, the two turned around automatically.

A young man stood before them, far younger than the rest, appearing to be about eight or so. He had a reckless grin on his face and a gruesome scar that stretched from his left cheek cutting up straight through the brow brow, purple and jagged. His blonde hair was choppy and wild -not dashingly messy like Link's- but annoyingly crazy. Malon would have loved to introduce it to a comb. His eyes were a deep brown, which Malon would have found appealing if not for his rough, flawed facial features.

Still, she was stupefied and rendered speechless. What was a kid so young doing around thieving troupes? She would have a talk with Link about morals...if by chance he had any at all.

The girl that stood next to him, slender, tall, and unnervingly beautiful, glanced down at Malon in what could be easily called a condescending manner. She was about the same height as Link and radiated the same amount of confidence around her, though it was slightly more subdued and less flamboyant. She had hard, pale brown eyes and short, sleek ebony hair that barely grazed her tanned, petite shoulders.

"That boy over there is Beck. He's the wild child." Link gave the boy a high-five and laughed as he stretched up to reach it. "And that," he pointed to the girl, "is his _gorgeous _but _extremely_ uptight sister Lottie."

Lottie glared down at Malon before shifting her eyes to Link, confusion seeping into them along with…something else. Her tone was harsh yet still annoyingly musical. "Who is _she?_"

Malon didn't care much for her tone at all. She leaned back further into Link's arms and Lottie's eyes flared.

"_She_ is the answer to all of our problems. Lottie meet Malon, heiress to Fenter Town." Link introduced them both amiably.

Lottie's eyes froze with disgust, her lips curled into a pretty sneer. "Surely you jest. You rescued a _noble?"_

"Rescued?" Link grinned wickedly, tapping his chin in a thoughtful manner.

Malon replied hotly, "More like _kidnapped!_"

Lottie glowered at her briefly. "I didn't ask for your opinion, lowlander!"

Malon clenched her fists together as she watched Link calmly try to diffuse the building tension in the air with his disarming smile. "Lottie, darling, calm down. Malon is staying with us for a good cause and a _lot_ of money." His eyes stared at her beseechingly, begging her to understand the predicament of their situation._ A **lot** of money._

Lottie's dark eyes glittered with fury and a muscle in her cheek twitched as she blinked rapidly, as if to clear the anger away from them. She seethed out huskily. "_Fine._ But don't expect us to get along."

Link smiled abruptly and the fury in her eyes faded slightly. He drawled out in his languid tone, "I wasn't expecting it anyway, sweetie."

He let go of Malon to turn around and announce cheerfully to his 'motley group of swindlers'. "Stuff yourselves silly today, my good mates. Because at the crack of dawn we are heading out to Hyrule!"

Cheers went around without hesitation. "Huzzah!"

* * *

Dinner was short and uneventful as always. Across the room Zelda could faintly hear Impa's not-so-light snore. Her hand inched behind her pillow, fingertips claiming the strap of her bag. Carefully she slipped it out and glanced at her now emptied dresser.

The strapped bag was full to the brim with clothes, a brush, some food she'd stolen from the pantry, and most importantly: a map.

Zelda smirked as moonlight bathed her face in a silvery glow.

Tonight, her plan would begin.

* * *

"Link, do we really have to head out so _early?_" Mikau called from the front of the wagon, hands gripping onto the reins tightly. The wagon swayed and rocked as they wove through the unpaved trail of the Woods.

Malon moaned pitifully, her face a light green. "I thought you said that we would start traveling in the morning."

"Change of plans, aristo." Lottie scowled, crossing arms over her chest. "Us bandits aren't good with time. We go when Link says we go. Got a problem with that?"

Malon glared back with a hint of defiance in her voice. "I never said I did, I was just asking a question."

"I hate it when girls have catfights over me." Link whispered to Beck who snickered in response, his eyes bright and starry.

"Get real, Link." Samus snorted, flipping back her ponytail knowingly. "Why are we going to Hyrule anyway?"

Link flashed her a mischievous smile, his eyes glittering brightly as he confided to her. "Word is spreading that there's some kind of expedition- er, _quest_, going 'round, sponsored by The King."

"Fan-_cy!" _Mikau whistled, his tone high and stringy "The King, eh?"

"Hey_-a_! Watch_-a_ where you're_-a_ going!" Luigi snapped as he poked his head out of the wagon, wagging his fists.

"Keep your pants on, why don't'cha!" Mikau retorted, slowly increasing speed so as to vex him further.

"What kind of expedition?" Beck asked, cocking his head to the side in his usual adorable manner.

"Don't really know, kid." Link shrugged truthfully, his shoulders slumping forward a bit.

Samus grinned quickly, her eyes teasing. "Surprise, surprise."

"You know, it's a good thing you're pretty... else you'd have no friends at all, Sammy." Link sniffed, crossing his arms over his chest imperiously.

Samus looked miffed for a moment before rolling her eyes. "I don't want friends, I have you."

Link put a hand to his heart and patted it, smiling cheekily. "You flatter, Sam."

"Who needs friends when you have a happy idiot who can _always_ remind you how blessed you are to have common smarts?"

Link looked affronted while Mikau, outside, roared with laughter, slapping a hand over his stomach to prevent from doubling over. "You sure have a way with ladies, Link!"

"Keep your eyes on the road, rookie!" Link barked, his head snapping to the side angrily.

"Aye aye, sire!" Mikau cleared his throat and announced in a deep, formal voice. "Attention passengers, this is your e_ver-so-esteemed_ captain speaking. We have about an estimated half hour before arriving at our planned destination. Please sit back, relax, and thank you for boarding this hunk of junk."

There was a grunt of disagreement from Link, yet Mikau plowed on, determined to finish.

"..Have a nice night...or at least try to."

Another chapter is heading your way sooner than you think, so _hold on_...:)

-HVM


	4. Chapter 4

Re-edited fourth post.

I will update as quickly as I possibly can to catch up to the chapter I've left up on. _So sorry _for the delay, guys...

And as for new readers, Welcome! :)

::

Thank you for all the reviews and for being so patient! Things got kind of hectic but I'm back!

-HVM

* * *

**Chapter 3: Predestination**

Link, it seemed, brought out the best in everybody...with Malon as the lucky exception. Even as the rest were weary and crabby, he was animated and filled with good humor. Dawn had come about, cracks of golden light spilling into the night sky, and he had cheerfully woken her up with an easy smile and a tap on the nose.

She had slapped him shortly after that and retreated to her own corner of the carriage, dozing off slightly again. Link kept the scene lively with jests and outlandish tales of his own daring adventures, most of which Luigi claimed, were truly _his_.

But soon enough, even the troupe leader's enthusiasm was sapped as soon as the sun had finally set in the sky, and the charming smiles he had once held were replaced with scowls and scoffs..

Lottie glared at the scenic beauty of Hyrule Field, her dark irises blazing with disdain, as Link and Beck aimed slingshots at wary vultures perched securely on their towering trees. Castleton was only a mile away by now and the whole crew was growing steadily cozy to the idea of killing themselves to escape from the painful boredom.

Beck and Link stopped their target shooting as soon as they ran out of seeds, seating themselves down with a restless sigh. "I've never felt so _dead_ in my entire life." Link grunted, running a hand through his golden locks.

Malon glared at Mikau's back hatefully. "Half an hour? _Hogwash!"_

Beck looked at his sister with a forced yet beaming smile, though she hardly returned one of her own. "Isn't it pretty here, Lottie?"

She grunted briefly in response, shifting so her entire body faced out the opening as if to ward away any incoming conversation. Beck looked questioningly at Link who frowned then merely shrugged. "You know women, Beck. They have the most peculiar mood swings at the worst possible time."

Lottie grunted again, resting her chin on the crook of her elbow as she drew her knees against her chest.

"Cheer up, beautiful." Link grinned behind her wearily and Malon could see her shoulders slump at the sound of his voice. "I'll buy you some refreshingly cheap ale as soon as we get off this deathtrap."

"Hey!" Mikau piped from up front. "I resent that!"

"Yeah, well, a few minutes ago you _didn't_."

"I don't drink." Lottie grumbled, cutting of Link mid-rant and sighing curtly. "And I'm not about to take anything from these _Hylian _bars."

Sensing tension build in the air, Beck turned to Malon who tried her best to smile back for his sake, despite how fatigued she felt. The child grinned, his scar rippling across his youthful skin and bloodshot eyes. "Have you ever been to Hyrule, Malon?"

"Many times." She sighed with an absent nod of her head, "When I was a mere babe and sent here to meet the Princess."

"Princess?" Link asked, eyes glowing at the word. He sat up earnestly, the lines of weariness under his eyes fading slightly. "Is she as _delectably stunning_ as all the folks around town say?"

Malon glared at him, appalled. Link smiled disarmingly then cleared his throat. "Pardon my Catalian. What I meant dear Malon, is that does her beauty match_your _radiance?"

Malon snorted a laugh, muffling her giggles with an open palm. She sounded deliriously giddy. "Yes, you could say most certainly say that."

"I would also most certainly love to meet her."

"Well then it's a shame she's missing."

Link's brows shot up as an amused smile played on his lips. "Missing, you say?"

"Yes." Malon nodded. "_Missing_. As in gone, lost, _unaccounted for_."

"Well aren't _you_ just the living, breathing dictionary?"

"For years," Malon continued, shooting him a silencing glare, "the lost Princess has yet to grace her Court with her presence."

"How very eloquent." Lottie remarked snidely. Malon huffed again.

Link rubbed his hands together, his eyes glazed as a plan quickly unraveled in his head. "If we find her whereabouts and take her back here, we'll get a handsome reward for it, I'm sure."

"Well don't be." Malon said. "The government won't be too open to the idea. Oligarchy has taken place of the late Monarchy rule and the Council are very attached to the benefits their position brings." She sat back against the wall of the carriage, before quickly adding. "Don't you ever _not_ think of money?"

"Hm… I guess I'll just have to keep her for myself now?" smirked Link.

Beck giggled in response. "Link says no girl can resist him. Not even my sister."

Lottie grunted, though it sounded more liked a choked gag.

Malon's brow spiked upward as she sneered jeeringly at Link. "Is that so?"

"Absolutely." Link nodded. "It's rather astonishing you haven't proposed yet, Malon. Most girls usually pop the question the first day."

The red-head flushed with annoyance. "I don't plan to."

"You're right." Link nodded, his handsome face looking unusually grave and somber with thought. "Putting me off the market is just _far _too cruel and inhumane. Why ladies would simply _die_ at the thought of the _great_ Link Blaines being held down by something as vapid and vain as _commitment."_

"Oh, do get off your high horse, Link." Samus retorted, blowing auburn strands away from her piercing eyes as she turned out the windows of the carriage, her tone carrying strong. "We're almost there."

* * *

Squeezing into the caravan was hard enough, but hiding proved to be the real challenge. Cole and previously mentioned brainless lackey, Will, had a ridiculous amount of luggage, all of which forced her into the very corners of the wagon. Zelda squished herself against a huddle of boxes, hunching over so as to hide her person from view.

Rusl, of course, only carried a small bag of necessities (bless his soul). He did, however, take the empty box which she crawled behind silently.

The carriage started abruptly, and the entire inventory stored in the back slid to her. Zelda crashed to the side, biting down a scream. And before she knew it they had crossed the Bridge of Ordon and were trotting through the rural fields of Hyrule

...

"Where are we headed, old man?"

She recognized the voice easily. Raspy, low, and lacking respect for anything that wasn't himself. _Cole._

She gagged in mental repulsion and clutched at her throat, swallowing.

"Castleton. We need to have a meeting with Lord Ganondorf. You're familiar with him, right Cole?" Rusl replied, trying not to sound too offended at the name Cole had bestowed upon him.

"Still am." The noble bragged and Zelda could imagine the smirk that would adorn his features at the words.

"Lovely. We're going to discuss terms of the quest and sign a _very important_ contract."

"That's nice …but…" Cole sounded irritated at the fact that Rusl was talking to him as if he were a brainless child.

Terms? Contract? _Ganondorf?_ It didn't sound too appealing and Zelda felt sick at the thought. He was working with Ganondorf? The mad, power-hungry tyrant Ganondorf?

She wanted to ask Rusl exactly _which _Ganondorf he was talking about, hoping that somewhere out there, some poor dolt had been given the same horrid name by any chance. She wanted him to laugh and say _'No, not Ganondorf the King. Ganondorf, my good friend in Termina who runs a bunny farm.'_

Because she really liked bunnies and loathed the self-proclaimed tyrant. And she was sure Rusl had shared the feeling too…until now.

Then again, she would have to bring the Sword to him eventually, and she supposed all the gold he'd give her would suffice for ten-years of toiling away in his inept rule.

And she couldn't exactly just pop out and ask for the clarification. She was _incognito._ And she planned to keep it that way.

"…why?" Cole asked.

"Because he is the sole sponsor of our trip."

"Do we really need his permission?"

"He's willing to give us passage around the borders of the kingdom and into other countries as well. The Master Sword is _extremely_ elusive, Cole. There have been many sightings, but none are confirmed." Rusl sounded tired at the mere words. "It's going to be a _long _search."

"Wait." Will cut in, his voice still scratchy and oddly high-pitched. "Exactly…how long will this trip take?"

"Mmm…ten days in the very least." Rusl answered.

"Why? You already miss your mommy, Will?" Cole taunted.

"You know that's not it." Will replied, his voice barely audible and suspiciously meek.

"Oh, right." Cole said curtly, with a leer. "Your little proposal, eh?"

"Proposal?" Rusl piped in. "To whom?"

"Think long and hard, Rusl." Cole drawled lazily. The carriage hit a bump and Zelda's knees banged against the floor, scraping off skin. "She's annoying, rude, I_hate _her guts, though it seems poor William here has fallen for her wholly."

"..erm…" Rusl trailed off with a small chuckle.

_"Zelda,_ Rusl. He wants to propose to _Zelda." _Cole spat out the words as if they had burned his tongue.

Zelda's insides flipped at the thought and she uttered out the smallest of squeaks.

"I already bought her a ring…" She heard Will say.

This couldn't be right. No. _No._ This had to be a joke. She couldn't get married. And certainly not to _Will._ She didn't love Will. And since when did he ever show that he even liked her?

She needed to get out. She couldn't breathe.

_No Zelda, deep breaths. Think of the Master Sword. Think of the Mster Sword. You will** not** get married. Not if you don't want to, and not ic you ever show your face again. So calm down and keep quiet._

She let out a big gust of air.

"Did anybody else hear that?" Will asked, voice squeaky as ever.

"Calm down, we're almost to Castleton." Cole assured him. "Rusl, you'll buy some new swords, right? Because I happen to know an excellent blacksmith. I'm sure he'll give us a discount."

"Sure. And you boys stick close, okay? Castleton is unbelievably busy this time of year. You might get-"

* * *

"Lost." Link glanced at the crowds of people flowing in the streets of the city, like water pouring in from canals to the endless ocean. "We might be lost."

"Might be?" Malon glared at him. "Where's Beck and Lottie?"

"And Luigi." Mikau added helpfully. "He said he didn't want to wait back in camp with Samus."

"Well, knowing Luigi, he's probably around Chef Petrozzini's alley exit, gorging on _actual_ spaghetti, Beck and Lottie told me they were going to buy swords from Benny's..."

"And we are…?" Malon urged on.

"Going to the palace."

"They'll lock you up." Mikau pointed out flatly.

"Thank you for that little blurb of wisdom, Captain Obvious." Link remarked dryly. "I meant _you two_ are going to the palace, _I'm _sneaking in, technically."

"For what?" Mikau hissed. "What could you possibly be risking a lifetime to the dungeons for?"

Link cuffed his ear rougly, his brows furrowing in irritation. "Passes, of course. To the Great Seas in the East or the billowing windlands to the North. _Those_ are our tickets to unlimited adventuring." Link rolled his eyes at them. He pointed to the towering castle, a gleam in his eyes. "But they cost a hefty price, and we can't exactly go gallivanting around the country without them if we want to keep our heads."

"Link…" Mikau began again, stressing the worry in his voice.

"It'll be hard, but nothing I can handle." Link cut in, his voice brisk and authoritative. "Now, huddle up."

They gathered together, hunching forward to bend their heads close. "So here's the plan…"

* * *

The guards stood up straight upon the red-head's entrance, their armor jangling at the stiff movements. They all watched with gaping mouths as she approached—nay, _sashayed_ to the castle entrance. On her arm trailed behind a sorry-looking sap with wide eyes and shaking knees.

"Good morning, Madame." A guard bowed to the woman, his rough face scrunched with a grin. The girl giggled coquettishly and fanned herself. "Call me Malon."

The guard's eyes lit up at the prospect, and shooting his fellow soldiers a smug look, he asked, "How may I help you?"

"I have an audience with Lord Gustav." She said, smiling prettily. "My beau"—she nodded to the lanky man beside her who the guard had been pointedly ignoring. Her beau blushed red and waved awkwardly, his palms slick with sweat—"is asking for a marriage permit."

"Ah." The guard's smile faded. "How…_lovely_." He nodded to the castle quickly. "There's a meeting right now. Perhaps you could entertain yourself for a while in one of the waiting rooms."

She winked her thanks and the mismatched couple headed for the palace, leaving behind a disgruntled group of palace soldiers, all of which took the opportunity to inspect her dwindling form and flaring curves.

"Beau, eh?" Mikau smirked at her.

Malon's face blanched and she snapped. "Don't flatter yourself."

The castle was tall and imposing, looming over them with it's marble columns and golden, peaked towers that reached up into the sky with a sharp tapered point, upon which waving proud red banners of the King's insignia billowed in the whipping breeze: a golden sword plunged through the Triforce of Power. The courtyard was vast and well-kept, a fountain gurgling at the heart. The steps stretched out to them and the open ebony doors beckoned them forward.

Upon entering the palace, Mikau's eyes bulged further. "Impressive."

"Hush," Malon snapped. "We need to go to the King's office."

"Where is it?"

"Follow me." Malon was accustomed to the palace in ways that even Link wasn't. She had visited here often, as her father often prefferred to do business within the rich town. He was attracted to the gullible yet rich citizens that flocked around like a bee to honey, often scamming a good number of them out of thousands of rupees.

The two dodged the castle guards' planned routes and went up several spiraling staircases, creeping across gloomy hallways and arched pathways. One guard stood still by the office door they had been seeking, face stony.

"Stay here." Malon hissed to Mikau, pushing him to the shadows of the hall and leaving him with a stern glare. He nodded obediently.

"Hello, Favian." She greeted the guard demurely.

The guard looked momentarily stunned at her beauty, then shook his head to clear out of the trance. "Pardon?"

"Favian, you do not remember me?" Malon pouted delicately.

The guard shook his head, eyes growing wider gradually. "That is not my name. Perhaps you have me mistaken for-"

"_Favian!_" Malon cried in a ridiculously anguished voice. "What is _wrong_ with you? It's me, Mariah!" Malon fumed.

Mikau frowned. _What was she up to?_

"Remember? You gave me drinks in the bar? Favian?" Malon explained to the confused guard, her voice hitching.

The guard blinked as she fluttered her eyelashes at him. He looked uncertain as he scanned Malon up and down. "Oh…hi…_Mar…iah_?"

"Is Favian even your name?" Malon's face was blotched red, tears streamed down her cheeks and Mikau had to keep from clapping his hands. _Bloody, brilliant red-head…_

"You were drunk weren't you? You can't even remember _my _name…" Malon ranted on, sobs making her pained voice quiver.

Mikau's eyes widened. _What?_

The guard, or rather 'Favian' looked pale and terrified. "Look here, Mariah. I…I'm sorry I can't remember you. I barely even remember going to the bar..."

"You _were _drunk!" Malon wailed, covering her face with her hands and sobbing louder. She sniffed, wiping away tears with her sleeve. "I talked to your wife and she said-"

"Wait, you did _what?"_ 'Favian' cried, his eyes wide and alarmed. "You talked to my _wife_? Why would you do that? What could possibly _posses _you to think that-"

"I didn't know!" Malon interrupted, raking trembling fingers through her hair. "I just followed the directions you gave me to your house! I was going over to say yes to your proposal-"

"_PROPOSAL?"_ Favian yelled, clutching his own head as he stared at Malon in absolute horror. "Oh this is bad…this is _so_ bad…she won't look back after _this_…" He shivered in his armor. "She's going to _kill_ me for sure."

"Well, I don't think so. She was already packing up her stuff when I left-"

"…_WHAT? No, no, no!_" The guard spun on his heels and barreled down the hall frantically, shoving past Malon none too gently.

Malon stared after him, snorted, and entered the unlocked office_. "Men."_ She muttered.

* * *

The study was impressive with its roaring fireplace, elegantly polished tiled floors, ebony wood desk, and antique leather furniture. A fist tapped on the immaculate and gigantic windows of the room, the stained glass bathing the floor in splashes of red and gold sunlight. Malon rushed to it and pushed it open with a grunt.

A hand reached through the pane and Link swooped in, rolling dramatically on the floor, and stopping with a steady crouch. He chuckled to himself and stood after a few heartbeats, his eyes flying to hers and narrowing. "Are you crying?"

She shook her head, grinning madly. "No."

It was at his moment that Mikau took the opportunity to burst in and shower her with stuttering praise. "That was _bloody brilliant!_ You…you just out of nowhere made up some ridiculous lie…and he _bought _it! Just like that!…Oh my gods, you're amazing!"

Malon smirked. Link shook his head. "I don't have time for this. You two." He pointed to Mikau and Malon, his eyes sharp and assured as he rested his gaze on the shelves of the study. "Go find Ganondorf and distract him from entering his study. I'm going to need some time."

* * *

Zelda disembarked the abandoned caravan and headed into town, fixing her hair quickly. Cole, Will, and Rusl had long gone, though they did leave behind their belongings through some stroke of luck.

Castleton was a spot of life in the rural fields of Hyrule, boasting of impressive manors and shined cobblestone streets. The people were loud and boisterous, not even sparing her new face a single glance as they hurried about through their daily lives, immersed in their own schedules and drama.

She assessed her environment as she slithered through the bustling crowd that flitted through the streets, taking in the sweet city air. _Ah, gossip and money…_

Step one of her plan was to get the passes. For free, of course. Her wallet was as barren and empty as the famed Gerudo Desert.

She faced Hyrule Castle, with it's intimidating stature, sleek exterior, and waving red flags. Her hand itched for the sketch she had shoved into her satchel, and she merely fisted them together and flew to the palace with dizzying speed.

The guards to the entrance barely spared her a glance, their visors were pulled down and the sun gleamed harshly on the metal of their shined armors. She slipped past the courtyard with her hasty stride and took her first step towards the interior of the castle, eyes not even bothering to soak up every precious detail of the palace she had long dreamt of obtaining. A rush of familiarity took over her, like water running over stone.

This place…looked so…_familiar_.

Shaking her head to break away from her thoughts, she bolted to the stairways, somehow able to maneuver her way through the labyrinth of rooms and hallways. Ganon's study, she knew, would have to be on the highest floor, in the grandest room. He liked luxury.

Her expedition was quick and blurry, as if she had gone through the entire perimeter of the palace in a single blink of an eye and just found herself standing before the office, breathless with excitement.

She was expecting the doors to the room to be black as ash—like Ganondorf's soul—with carved emblems of the sacred Triforce and flanked by statues of the Goddesses. What she was not expecting, though, was that they'd be wide open, practically gaping so as to let her in.

And she most certainly didn't expect to see another young boy, looking to be around her age, digging though the drawers with unexpected haste and elegance.

She swallowed down her fear as she stepped in soundlessly to the royal study, her voice tiny and inquisitive. "Who are you?"

The boy glanced up quickly, hair flying about, and she found herself looking into the bluest eyes she'd ever seen.

* * *

Hope you can live on that one chapter for today..._and if not I'll post the chapter five I've been keeping handy_...if anybody's still managing to hold on... :P

And as I've said before...another chapter is heading your way sooner than you think, so _hold on_...:)

-HVM


	5. Chapter 5

Re-edited fifth post.

I will update as quickly as I possibly can to catch up to the chapter I've left up on. _So sorry _for the delay, guys...

And as for new readers, Welcome! :)

::

_Haaahh!_ I did it! **Two posts** in **one day**, this is _insanity_!

;D

-HVM

* * *

**Chapter 4: Momentous Meetings**

Blue.

Maybe not quite blue. Indigo? No.

_Cerulean._ With a ring of faint silver lining. That was the color of his eyes. Zelda stood in the gaping doorway, arms awkwardly hanging by her sides.

The boy blinked at her, eyes bleak and narrowed, in his hand a dagger was held, sharpened and glinting warningly. Tiny dust motes fell behind him, spinning and glittering as light outlined his form in a garish buttery light.

His hair was even more golden as the sun showered down on it, falling across his impossibly handsome face in unruly locks that curled at the nape of his neck. He breathed hard as he said, in a deep, velvety, yet hushed voice, "Who wants to know?"

Zelda blinked hard, groping for the right words. Her hand fell on the knife stuffed inside her belted waist, gripping the handle for a burst of confidence. Her own voice seemed to plummet. "Zelda. Zelda Harkinian."

Amusement softened his eyes, yet the wariness lingered. A spark entered those irises of his, amused yet mischievous. "I see. And what business do you have here, milady?"

She could hear the teasing sarcasm in his voice as he surveyed her peasant dress up and down condescendingly. She could see the knowledge well up inside him; she knew he recognized that she was no lady, after all. Therefore, she was just as unwelcome in these floors of the castle.

Well, tell the truth, or tell a lie?

"I am a maid." She blurted out, hopefully with a cold, confident edge. He didn't seem convinced, but did not requite the bitterness in her tone.

"You are out of uniform then."

"Fine." She huffed, surveying his admittedly far nicer clothes. He could have been mistaken for nobility, but the way he talked was a dead giveaway. There was no ceremonial drawl in his words and his tone was languid and easy. He was a peasant too, so she threw formalities out the window. The truth it was. She had a feeling he had the same objective anyway. Why else would he be here? "I'm here to _borrow_ a passport."

"Do you have a claim?" He taunted.

"What do you think?" She snapped.

"And I assume that by borrow you mean-"

_"Steal."_

"Ah," He nodded gravely. "You seem to speak my language well enough." He outstretched a hand, grinning pleasantly. "My name is Link. Link Blaines. Perhaps you've heard of me."

Zelda glanced up at his face, frowning.

"No." She said flatly.

Silence consumed the air between them, which wasn't much.

He waited. Then smirked. "So you say you want the tickets?"

She nodded, lips tightly pursed. "No questions there, love." He spread his arms out welcomingly. "Feel free to help me look for them."

She looked at him warily. "Finders keepers?"

He shook his head, smiling sweetly with a wink. "Nah, old Ganny probably has a lifetime supply of them. No need to be so uncivilized."

So on they went, the two total strangers who'd met only seconds ago, on a search for some elusive, paper-thin passes. Link stuck to her side like glue, double-checking the open doors with a sense of anxiousness that she recognized all too late was contagious. His cool demeanor however, covered up the apprehension building up inside him. It soothed her slightly, for her own composure was breaking down.

They searched the cabinets, digging through and carelessly tossing out signed amendments, liquor bottles (Zelda was disgusted), and expensive fountain pens, finally, _finally _finding a neat stack of tickets, rolled up in a bunch, bent and wrinkled with slight dust. Zelda had never seen anything so beautiful, save for the boy standing next to her.

"Could you _hurry up?" _Link hissed to her—his impatient tone anything but beautiful—with his head buried in a lacquered ebony box.

"I don't see why I should." She said in a hasty attempt to cover her uncertainty. Ganondorf could surely be coming up any minute. He lifted his head up and flashed a disarming smile that made all her reserved hostility drain away. She reached for his arm and he pulled her up effortlessly.

She held up the bundled tickets with a victorious grin, clutching it tightly in her hand. He studied it for a moment, wide-eyed and lips curling to a smirk. "Can I see it?"

"You're seeing it." She replied, dubious.

"Ha, ha." He rolled his eyes, tone dry and mirthless. "Can I hold it? They might be incomplete or expired."

Passes could expire?_ That _was new.

She opened up her palm to check—his hand snatched her wrist back, she found herself spinning into his arms, heart hammering in her chest for that one moment—and crashed against the study desk, her face held down steadily against a pile of ancient paperwork. _What the-?_

"Listen here then_, Zelda_." Link bent down, whispering hotly in her ear with a wry chuckle. She could hear a smirk laced in his voice. "You see this?" He held up the passes arrogantly—the very keys to her future—in his gloved hands, fanning them teasingly before her nose. "These little darlings are my tickets to unlimited adventuring and untold riches. And _I'm_ taking them."

"Can't we share?" She grumbled, shifting her face left to show him her murderous glare.

His lips pulled in a mischievous smile. "You see, there's the problem, love." His breath fanned her face endearingly, her heart quickened. _So close._ "There's only so much, one for every member of my crew. Lucky coincidence, is it not?"

"There are twenty, at least." She snapped coldly.

"Well, you're rather irritated."

"Oh, you have no idea." She snarled, rolling her eyes. "You see this sorry excuse for a thief just used me for his own personal gain—like all the pigs men are—and he doesn't have the decency to apologize. _So sorry _if I come off as rude."

He glared down at her. "I'll make you a deal, _Princess_. I-"

They both froze, their blood running cold as a rumbling voice rang down the hallway. "Lady Malon, would you care to see my study?"

_Ganondorf._

Link let go of Zelda who took the lucky opportunity to land an unholy blow with the tip of her boots to his shins. He hissed, bending down as the pain settled. "Sh!" She snapped, crouching down as well. They squished together under the inside of the desk, breathing hard, eyes panicked and wide.

A nervous giggle sounded outside. "I'd hate to impose."

"Nonsense."

Footsteps again. Then, "Why is the door open? I could have sworn I closed it."

Link smacked his forehead. A new level of idiocy, for sure. Zelda cast him a fierce glare, sneering. "Unbelievable."

The door creaked as the man whose wrath they feared most at the moment strode in, steps heavy. "What the- who made this mess?"

"Err, milord. Don't you have a guard patrol these areas?" The female voice piped up helpfully.

"…You're right. Oh, that boy's got some explaining to do…" Ganondorf clutched a handful of castaway amendments, gritting his teeth as he barged out the room.

"Wait! Milord!" The woman hurried out.

Link and Zelda crawled out, shoving each other none too gently. He headed for the window behind the desk, pushing it wide open and peering down at the unwelcome ground below him. A gust of wind burst in, blowing through his hair gently. Zelda opened her mouth, ready to spout another rant about his trickery and lack of honor, yet he seemed too busy to even notice. This angered her even more.

He tapped a silver bracelet latched on his wrist as a strange metal contraption slid out, spiraling up, wrapping around his fist with a steel tube and a sharp claw at the front. He aimed for a steady hold outside, casting Zelda a questioning look from the corner of his eyes. "Are you coming? Or do you want to stay and clean up?"

She scowled, but walked over with a dark look in her eyes that intimidated him somewhat. "You don't need to ask twice."

He smirked, tipping his chin up knowingly. Then, he hooked an arm across her waist, pulling her closer. She blushed instantaneously, stammering, "What are you-"

The claw launched with a loud snap, an extending chain following suit with unbelievable speed. Zelda yelped as their bodies were thrust out the window with a jarring lurch, zooming across the bare courtyards—which all seemed to be just a flurry of green below her now. She gripped to the collar of his tunic, listening to his steady heartbeat and strong chuckle, trying her best to keep from hyperventilating  
_  
She was going to die, she was going to die, she was…!_

_…Dangling from an oak tree_. A squeak sounded from her parted lips, meek and tiny. The chain lowered them down slowly, Link's grip on her waist loosened slowly and she jumped to the ground, wincing at the impact. The claw snapped off and came back to place on his fist. The contraption bent and shrunk to a silver bracelet once more. Her jaw dropped. "What _is_ that thing?"

"Hookshot." He shrugged. "It has its moments."

"HEY!" They heard a loud bellow as a phalanx of red-faced guards appeared from the bushes, pointing accusingly at them with spears at ready. "This area is restricted! No tourists allowed."

"Apologies." Link grinned slyly, taking Zelda's hand and leading her to the moat. "Didn't see the sign."

The guards grumbled and headed back to their usual patrol routes. "No-good, lousy teenagers…"

"Yeah." Another cut in with a scowl. "Those two were probably getting cozy behind a tree or sumthin'…"

Another grunted in disapproval. _"Crazy kids."_

* * *

"I think it's only fair you tell me what _you_ want with the tickets, and I'll tell you why _I_ need them." Zelda said as they strode to the arches leading to the city.

"Okay, me first then." Link jabbed a thumb to himself proudly and put on a ridiculously dramatic voice, making elaborate gestures with is hands as he spoke, "I'm a thief, love."

"Don't call me that." Zelda said.

"I'm an adventurer." Link continued, ignoring her. "I go wherever the wind blows. _No purpose?_ _No problem_! As long as there's money involved, then common sense is thrown out the window." He cast his eyes down sorrowfully and lamented in a grievous tone. "But the law seems set on holding me down from going to the lands of the great beyond of which I so _woefully_ admire… and so I'm here…"

"And your 'crew'?" Zelda said, putting an emphasis on the last word that spoke volumes of disdain.

"Eh. They'll follow me anywhere. Them and that cursed run-down caravan we stole. We're like a pack. Of dogs_. Or kittens._ Depends on the mood. Right now, I'm just trying to find ways to earn me some decent grub." He brushed back strands of his hair; they all fell back into place, not quite masking the glint in his eyes, as they brushed low over his brow. "Money makes the world go 'round after all."

"Well then," Zelda said glancing up at him with a dry smile. "Guess you and me have the same objective."

"And what's that?" Link inquired sweetly.

"_Money._ I want money. _You_ want money-"

"Truer words have never been spoken." Link nodded, gesturing for her to elaborate.

"-I need transportation, you need a plan. I believe we can make a partnership work."

Link had to laugh suddenly, not quite believing what the girl had just offered to him. "You want to make a deal? With a thief?"

"Do you want my help or not?"

"What 'help' can you possibly offer me?" He crossed his arm while smiling—albeit a bit suggestively.

Zelda leaned forward, grinning brightly. "Have you ever read of the Master Sword?"

"Nope. Don't like to read."

"Well, if you did, you'd have known that there's a competition to find it."

"Is this the quest sponsored by King Ganondorf?" He cut in.

"Yes."

"Hmm…continue." He rubbed his chin pensively.

"The Master Sword's location still remains a secret. It's very elusive. Sightings have been reported, none have been confirmed." Zelda's eyes glittered in excitement. Just talking about it made her feel alive.

"So this sword is…what? Magical?"

"Exactly. And the reward money? Ten. Thousand. Bars. Of. _Gold_." She emphasized the gold part knowing that would certainly grab Link's undivided attention.

She was right.

_"Gold?"_Link whispered in awe.

"Yes."

_"Bars of them?"_

She nodded.

He blinked, his eyes narrowing in thought then widening in realization. "Hmm." He raised a brow at her, scanning her up and down in a way that made her heart race and breathing erratic. Then he flashed her a blinding grin, an attractive smile coming to his face. "Zelda Harkinian. You've got yourself a deal."

They shook hands.

* * *

Cole waited in line with Will. A girl stood in front of them, tapping her sandals impatiently against the floor. She was so stunningly beautiful, Cole could barely take his eyes off her, and neither could the rest of the male patrons. She was slender with curves and tanned skin. Her hair was straight and dark, grazing past her bare, petites shoulders; her eyes were a hard, pale brown. She was taller than him, something he would have seen as a flaw—but her beauty was so great, it hadn't occurred to him. Her top was short, starting below the collarbone and exposing her flat tummy. She wore long billowy silk pants. The young boy who stood next to her glared at everyone who stared at her shamelessly.

Benny, the blacksmith, smiled upon seeing her. "Lottie! Beck! Long time no see!" The girl smiled, something that made her even more dazzling. The boys let out a silent lovesick sigh.

"How's the crew?" Benny asked.

"Fine." She handed him a slip of paper, replying amiably. "I'm here to pick up Link's order."

"Ah, yes, _Link_. How has he been?"

"Crazy as ever." The girl sighed in mock sorrow with a sparkling grin.

"Did you make a move on him yet?"

The girl, Lottie, blushed much to Cole's dismay. She had a lover? _Great_.

"You know I'm like a sister to him."

"Aye, but is he like a brother to you?" The girl parted her lips as if to protest, yet Benny continued, cutting her off swiftly, "'Course not. Why are you so hesitant to tell him? Hasn't he ever called you beautiful before? The boy would have to be blind not to!"

**_I'm_**_ not blind, _Cole sulked.

"He's called her gorgeous too." The young boy—Beck was it? —piped up. "Just yesterday."

Benny made an exasperated gesture. "See?"

"He wasn't serious about it. You know Link, he flirts with anything that _walks_..."

"Ah, you young people…" Benny sighed, shaking his head. "You can pick up his order in the back."

"He'll pay you back soon." Lottie promised.

Benny grunted, smiling knowingly. "He better."

* * *

Link offered to take Zelda for a quick lunch after their official handshake-deal. She didn't object for once, too hungry to shy away. He'd taken her to Petrozzini's, a fine restaurant with expensive entrees and astoundingly beautiful decorations. She was flattered, needless to say, and impressed when he held up a bag of money, full to the brim.

"Nice." She nodded appraisingly.

Link grinned with an elegant shrug of the shoulders. "Just looted it."

The waiter sat them near the corner with an overhead view of Castleton. Zelda glanced down at the menu with a grimace. "It's all so overpriced."

"Don't look so worried, dearest." Link gave her a quick wink. "I have ways of lowering them."

As if on cue, a waitress walked over dressed in red attire with a dead tone in her voice. Her eyes were half-open and bloodshot; her expression told Zelda that she'd really be anywhere else as long as it wasn't _here._ Link quickly cast his face down as she made it to their table. "Hello, and welcome to Petrozzini's. Can I take your orders?"

"Err, I'll take a Hylian Loach with golden cuckoo on the side." Zelda smiled. The waitress barely blinked. Zelda coughed and turned to her partner-in-crime. "Link?"

"Hm." The thief glanced up and quickly locked eyes with the waitress whose jaw slacked open. With a dazzling smile he asked, "What do you recommend?"

"I…I…recommend, err…the same thing?" She winced, clearing her throat. "Um, Hylian Loaches are our specialty."

"The same thing it is then? How much will that be?" Link put on a contemplative face, folding his hands together gravely.

The waitress' eyes were still fixed on him and she answered in a dazed, dreamy, tone, "Two-hundred…"

Link's eyes widened in feigned astonishment. "Really?"

"Mhmm…" The waitress nodded in a ditzy manner.

Link leaned forward, flashing an immaculate, seductive smile. Zelda had to bite on her lip to keep from laughing. "Surely that must be a mistake."

"Yes, surely…" The waitress nodded with a longing sigh and fanning herself subconsciously. "I might have forgotten to mention out discount." She giggled, turning red while tugging on her collar. "Half price off on everything."

"That's very generous of you." Link remarked, winking.

"I suppose so..." She trailed off scratching the nape of neck, flustered.

Link sat back down, voice changing back to its usual, careless drawl. "Then we'll take some champagne as well. Thank you!" He shoved the menus to the waitress who blinked, startled. She gathered them together clumsily, her hands slippery with sweat. "What? Oh. Um, okay." She hurried away, vanishing inside the kitchen doors.

Zelda stared at Link in stupefaction before doubling over in a fit of suppressed giggles. "How…" She panted, sucking in air, catching a glimpse of Link's infamous smirk through her laughter-filled haze. "How did you…?"She giggled again.

Link leaned forward. "Oh come now, _Princess_. It's hard to resist this face. Give her a little credit."

"_Princess?" _She stopped, staring at him again. "Why would you call me that?"

"Well, when I first saw your face I thought, 'Gee, Zelda _sure_ is pretty. She must be a princess.'" He smirked at her. "It fits, don't you agree? And it's such a cute pet name too."

She snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yes, because the face is a _definite_ dead giveaway."

"Oh come now, _Princess_." Link chuckled, delighted at the look of vexation taking over her face. "Hasn't anyone ever told you that you're pretty?"

Zelda's face scrunched and she looked out the window. _"No."_

"Well you are." Link took no notice of her discomfort, rubbing his chin. He put his hands out. "Beautiful. Stunning. _Gorgeous._"

"Okay!" Zelda squeaked, her face red as she waved his compliments away. "I get it, I get it!"

"And no need to compliment me back." He shrugged, flipping up the collar of his tunic, confidently.

"No?"

"No, I have people for that."

Zelda stared at him.

Link winked.

She stared at him again and he had to smirk. "Can't keep your eyes off me?"

She blinked, and then scrunched her nose, smiling tauntingly. "You smell funny. Do thieves ever take a bath?"

"Watch it, Princess." He warned, wagging a gloved finger at her playfully. "Remember whose paying for this little date. You might want to be nice. I hear Hylian Loaches are all the rage here in Castleton. _Delicious!"_

* * *

"Where is Link?" Lottie snapped, crossing her legs as she dangled off the tree branch.

Mikau's head popped out of the wagon, frowning thoughtfully. "Heck if I know." He shrugged then waved a ladle of spaghetti at her. "Hey, Lottie, try this! Luigi says he made it with tomato sauce but it tastes so…metallic. And it's all 'fluid-y'."

Beck aimed a slingshot at another raven that cawed in protest. He missed. "This is _hopeless_. Link swore he'd teach me how to do this. Where is he?" He scratched his brow, irritated. "And Samus? Where'd she run off to?"

Malon aimed a slingshot as well—ignoring the boy's pesky questions—the ravens peered down at her, sneering. Beady eyes glared at her from above, challenging. She released and hit Lottie on the head.

_"Ouch!"_

"Sorry!"

Before Lottie could shout an inappropriate comeback, a pair of voices wafting down the ravine silenced them all.

"…Let me tell you. They can't last a day without me."

_Link._

Lottie straightened, prepared to jump off the branch, when…

…A giggle came. Feminine. Sweet.

Lottie grimaced. He'd brought another random girl from some random pub down to home base. _Again._ She took out her dagger and sharpened it with a dark stone, her eyes as hard as flint. The crew below her flinched at the display.

"Link, I swear, I only met you hours ago. But your ego is bigger than anyone else I know."

The voice was light yet honey-thick. Lottie scraped the tip of her dagger, sparks flying into her face, lighting up the withheld fury in her eyes.

"Aw thanks, _Princess." _Came Link's reply.

The crew looked up in unison, spotted two lone figures on the top of the ravine. "What have you all been scheming too while I was gone?" Link hollered down, his face shrouded by a thin veiling of mist.

"Aiming for the ravens!" Beck called back eagerly, hoping he'd remember his promise.

"Trying some… err…spaghetti!"

"Making-_a _…err… spaghetti-_a_!"

"Get your butt down here!" Malon yelled last, her face twisted in impatience.

Link laughed. "Coming." Turning to his unknown partner he reached and grabbed her arm. "Watch your step, it's really steep."

"I can handle this, Link."

"No, you can't, _Princess."_

_"_Quit being so chauvinistic. Let go."

"I am _not_ being chauvinistic and I _can't _let go, because we all know you'd end up falling."

The girl withdrew her hand with a victorious laugh and descended down the ravine in quick steps.

Link warned her patiently. "No. No _wait, _Zelda. Don't-!"

A scream. A body dropped down the ravine, rolling past stones and broken bricks, coming to a painful stop against a tree stump. Mikau dropped his ladle of blood—umm—tomato sauce.

The body moaned, the mouth obscured by long strands of blond hair.

Link appeared, jumping out of the thick fog, running after her and winced, coming to an abrupt halt. "Oh no." He knelt down and prodded at the motionless girl. "Zelda? Zelda?" He cupped her neck and lifted her chin up.

'Zelda' had long, luminous blonde hair and droopy azure eyes. Her face was pale and creamy with high cheekbones and a perfect delicate chin. Lottie's eyes narrowed as she jumped off the tree, landing expertly on the hood of the caravan.

"Zelda?" Link waved a hand in front of the girl's face.

The girl clutched his shoulders and looked at him dazedly, her eyes drifting and glassy. "Link…?"

"Zelda, how many fingers am I holding up?"

He lifted up his pinky and his thumb. Zelda shivered then stared at his pinky unblinkingly. "One."

_"Two."_ He sighed, wagging his thumb at her.

"That doesn't count." Zelda moaned, tilting her head back with a grunt. "It's a thumb, not a finger."

Link looked down at her. "…_What_?"

" I feel sick." Zelda groaned, pressing an arm against her stomach.

"Since when was a thumb officially unclassified as a finger?" Link huffed.

_"Link,"_ Zelda whispered despairingly.

"Yes?"

"Stop spinning me."

"I'm not."

"…_Oh_."

The crew watched with mixed emotions of shock and amusement.

"Come on." Link swept her up dramatically, her head lolled back in his arms, resting against his collar. He looked up, grinning at the shocked faces of his crew. "I know this is unexpected, but I got us a new member!"

"Oooh, where'd you meet her?" Mikau asked, shamelessly eyeing the unconscious Zelda. "It seems to me you have a habit of bumping into incredibly _impressive_ girls."

"Mikau." Link glared at him.

"Hm?"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

"And stop groping her with you eyes will you?"

"O…_Kay."_

Zelda sighed, turning over in his arms. "Head…hurts."

"Okay, so obviously, now is not the time for introductions." Link nodded, hefting Zelda up on his shoulder roughly. She grunted.

He grinned. "I'll put her up front. Lottie, be a dear and get Epona, will you? We're leaving."

The thief woman snarled and stormed off in the woods, gripping his horse call tightly in her hands. _"Fine."_

A nut smacked against Link's cheeks as soon as Lottie had disappeared. He whirled around and found Malon glaring at him. "…"

She blinked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Link stared at her disbelievingly. _"…Owww!"_

She snorted. "I can't believe you kidnapped another one!" She threw her hands up. "A girl no less! What's the matter with you?"

"Hey!" Link defended. "She _volunteered_for your information!"

"Did you _drug_ her?" the redhead hissed with wide, accusing eyes.

Link stumbled back, looking highly offended. "Malon, you wound me!"

"Oh my goddesses…you _did_, didn't you?"

"No! And she'll tell you I was a perfect gentleman. Once she wakes up of course." Link smiled slightly, trying to appeal to her gentler side. "We had lunch together."

"And then you _drugged her food_?"

He bared his teeth in bottled annoyance. _"No!"_

"Hey, Link! Try this spaghetti, will you?" Mikau thrust a ladle in his face, cutting off Malon who looked about ready to explode.

"Um, sure." The thief took a spoonful, chewed it thoughtfully, and then spat it out, coughing violently. He shot Mikau a murderous glare.

"Now," Mikau said. "Tell me, is the red stuff tomato sauce?"

Link gave him a flat yet grave look. "…No."

Mikau's face brightened. "I knew it! Ha! You're spaghetti making days are over, old man!" He whirled around to point at Luigi victoriously.

Luigi blushed pink.

"Link!" Beck hopped up and down beside him. "Where are we going next?"

Link grinned proudly. "I'm glad you asked, Beck." Reaching in his satchel, he eyed everyone carefully and winked at Malon, who could only scowl. "Malon and good mates, may I present to you…" In a flash the tickets appeared on his hand and he held them up proudly. "The tickets to our fortune."

Everyone gasped, eyes wide. Beck gaped. Link turned to him, grinning. "So you come to me, young child, with starry eyes filled with a yearning for adventure, asking me where it is our paths shall take us next…" He closed his eyes softly and opened them, the mist helping set the mood for his ostentatious speech. "And now I say to you…"

The troupe members held their breath, eyes wide as Link spoke.

"_Everywhere."_ The thief answered with a broad grin.

* * *

I love playing up Link's non-existent dramatics...

Are you guys excited for '**_S__kyward Sword'_** because _I_ sure am.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...another chapter is heading your way sooner than you think, so _hold on_...:)

-HVM


	6. Chapter 6

_Re-edited sixth post._

_Um, you'll find I didn't put in the 'Test' if you've read the original story. I'm sorry if you were looking forward to it...I just felt now that-looking back-it might have affected Link and Zelda's relationship and escalated the complexity of it to a point where I can't put any humor in it._

_Make sense? :/_

_Yeah, not much, huh? I just wanted to use the word 'escalated' but I hope that suffices as an acceptable reason. Sorry!_

_::_

_As for not posting sooner, I apologize. I re-did the chapters that I put the 'Test' in and deleted them. Nearly 18 pages gone to waste. Oh well..._

_-HVM_

* * *

_**Chapter 5: Meeting the Family...and the Pet**_

_She hung onto the rope for dear life, watched as she swayed above a pit of burbling, murky, dark acid. Fear gripped her tightly and she struggled to keep her hands from shaking, her palms were slick with sweat and her cheeks were damp with fresh tears._

_**Where am I?**_

_"Zelda!" A voice hollered from below her, sounding as distant and desperate as she felt. "Zelda, no!"_

_She squeezed her eyes shut, shivering. _

_** Don't look down. Just don't. You're woozy enough already.**_

_A rush of wind bit at the nape of her neck, grazing over the beads of sweat that rolled down her forehead. Bile rose to her throat and she swallowed tightly, feeling her heart pound underneath the constriction of her chest. _

_The rope bounced and she chanced a curious peek up, gasping. "Holy goddesses…"_

_Someone was standing in the shade of the treetops, obscured by a thick curtain of leaves. A strange machine sat next to him, a disfigured lump of wheels and rusted pieces of iron joints, with a metallic red lever sticking out._

_A burly, ash-colored hand gripped it and moved it down with a grunt._

_The pole holding her rope jolted and plunged down, the movements jerky and ungraceful. She yelled as her body followed suit, tossed and turned like a mindless ragdoll. A strand of her hair brushed the acid and she watched in undisguised horror as the liquid wrapped itself around the curled tip, eating away. Black dots crept up, gnawing with sick wet noises. A scream of fright gurgled in her throat and shook her head, flinging them away._

_The hidden enemy grabbed the lever again and tugged it to its former position. She stopped falling, the rope clutched at her chest and yanked up. She choked. A dark, masculine laugh sounded in her ears._

_**He was toying with her.**_

_The forest withered slowly at the voice. It was deep and slicing, like a steel knife scraping on hard cement. "Squirm, little princess. Squirm."_

_She shrieked, panic flooding her vision in black and white. Shafts of sunlight filtered through her vision, all colored in shades of grey._

_"Squirm!"_

_"Zelda!" Another voice called again. She looked to the side as a flash of golden light enveloped her sight, color bursting through the colorless backdrop in hot, lively waves. "Zelda, please!"_

_She blinked away tears. "Who…?"_

_The light spread forward; pulsing rhythmically like a strong, steady heartbeat. The dark voice spat in disbelief. "What form of treachery is this, boy?"_

_The golden light faded gradually, a fresh wind wrapped around the forest, the trees rustled, and the land turned lush once more. Link stepped out into the light; the shadows behind him seemed to cower at his presence. _

_He was dressed in a striking green tunic, a glittering sword wrapped in his left hand, dazzling and deadly. His glowing face was a mask of determination, void of any trace of his familiar playfulness and sarcasm. He gritted his teeth, then launched up the treetops with amazing agility._

_Zelda watched, mouth agape. Tendrils of affection wrapped around her heart hesitantly. "What is he doing?"_

_She could see a grin cross Link's features as slashed open at the curtain of leaves and snarled as a huge, misshapen lump of darkness crawled out. It pulsed and throbbed, taking the shape of a faceless human figure. _

_"Traitor." The darkness hissed as dripping, inky hand reached for Link, claws ready to dig into his flesh._

_Link dodged the first swipe with ease. He spun and responded with a kick to the enemy's chest. The dark human stumbled back, crowing. "Humans cannot keep to their promises anymore, it seems. I guess there _is_ no honor among thieves."_

_"It's over." Link plunged the blade deep into the shadowy being, watching as it heaved and choked, shaking with anger. _

_"Die, Princess!" The darkness gurgled in fury._

_Its dark, wiry arm lashed at the lever. Zelda yelled as she began a slow descent to the pit, her heart dropping to the bottom of her stomach. In a heartbeat, Link was by her side, wrapping an arm around her waist and leaping across the endless pit._

_They tumbled to the ground in a heap. Patches of grass softened their fall. _

_Her heart thudded as her head rested against his chest, weary and dazed. With a moan, she propped herself up and stared down at her savior. "Link…?"_

_He smiled, midnight-colored irises twinkling teasingly. "Princess."_

_She heaved in air, the words falling out of her mouth, thick with disbelief. "You saved me."_

_"That I did." He smirked, brushing away strands of her hair, frowning as he noticed the one particular strand that had lost its former luster. The same one the acid had been eating away. He stared up at her inquisitively. "Are you okay?"_

_"Yes. Thank you, Link."_

_He was close enough to kiss, another one of the few things she had bothered to notice. Tufts of his golden hair splayed across his forehead, streaks of platinum blond strands woven in perfectly with them She lowered her face down. "Good." He sighed, taking no notice of her moony eyes. "You should wake up, then."_

_Zelda stopped her advances, limbs stiffening. "What?"_

_"Wake up, Zelda." He stared into her eyes, voice light and playful. "Wake up."_

_She blinked in utter confusion "Link, what are you…?"_

* * *

"WAKE UP!"

"Ah!" Zelda jolted upright, eyes snapping open. The scent of forest came to her nose, exhilarating yet overwhelming as well. She could gather, in her disoriented state, that she was currently half-awake in a wagon. An _unfamiliar-looking_ wagon. The usual panic attack that came next was cut off sharply.

"Morning sunshine!" A teasing voice sang at her. She looked down, ignoring the frantic instinct welling up inside of her to scream.

Link.

Link laying flat against the bench, sporting a white sleeveless shirt that clung to his person like second skin—because of _course_, Link _Blaines_ didn't wear clothes that even _dared_ to cover his physique. His blond hair as was ruffled and wild as before and his eyes sparkled with a warm intensity; a boyish grin sat on his face. She reminded herself to breathe.

"Was I sleeping on you?" Her face was red with embarrassment, yet her tone was bordering on accusatory.

Link didn't look too affected. "That you were."

"How?"

"I don't know." He shrugged innocently. She moved away with a jump as he sat up, deciding that his sleepwear was far more distracting than any sleepwear really ought to be. His previous smile turned to a smirk. "Shame I had to wake you so early. It was rather comfortable."

"Shut up." Zelda glowered, her blush rising which only caused Link to hunch over in chuckles.

"Aw, you're no fun, Princess." Calming down, he grinned brightly. "But really, did you have a good sleep?"

Zelda shook her head and crossed her arms in mock disappointment. "Felt like I was sleeping on rocks."

The thief's dazzling eyes lit up with unholy amusement. She cursed at the Goddesses for his looks and upon seeing the flash of spite in her eyes, he grinned arrogantly. "Those would be my-"

"Don't finish that." Zelda was certain her face couldn't get any redder.

The thief nodded wisely, though the smile remained present as he directed her attention to the back of the caravan where a few of his troupe members slept soundly.

Link held up a finger against his lips, signaling for her to be silent. Zelda watched as he pointed to a lanky, tall boy with pale skin that contrasted greatly to his dark blue hair. "That peculiar specimen over there is Mikau. He's a Zora. I believe this will be his fifteenth summer. He's the official driver of our wagon."

Jutting his chin out to another member, he gestured to a strangely familiar redhead, sleeping soundly against a crate. Her features were pretty and gentle, not sharp and pointing like Impa's. A dreamy smile tugged on her lips and her hair fell in ruby tangles, draped against her hunched shoulders. "That's Malon." Link answered in an amiable tone, to which Zelda lifted a brow in curiosity. "Newest member to the club. Excluding you, of course. She's a noble; mayor's daughter."

"Ah." Zelda blinked.

Next to her was a pudgy stout fellow with a blue tunic and brown trousers. A green cap sat above his head and his groomed mustache twitched as he snored in deeply.

"Luigi. Not Italian, if that's what you're wondering, but he's working on it. His food is the stuff of legends. One bite and you're done." Link winked at her. "Stay away from the spaghetti. It tends to make you do…funny things."

"Huh?" Zelda's head spun.

"That girl," Link pointed to a tall, slender, young woman, folded up on the floor. Her short black hair was spread around her angular face like a dark halo and her bronze skin glowed in the sunlight that bathed her. She had the face of a queen, yet she wore the clothes of a thief. "That right there's Lottie."

She was rather…stunningly pretty, so Zelda felt compelled to say. "Is she your girlfriend?"

Link stared at her for a minute, the picture of bewilderment before bursting in hushed laughter. "Why do you ask?"

_'Because I don't think she'd appreciate knowing I had slept _on top of you_ for Din's sake!' _Her mind spewed out venomously.

"I just…" Zelda blushed and stammered in a flustered manner. "I just thought…you'd be…"

Link shook his head jovially. "I don't believe in commitment. But don't let that discourage you."

"Thanks." She rolled her eyes, regaining composure upon seeing Link's sarcasm return, full force. "I _won't _keep that in mind."

"Of course you will, darling." Link cooed mockingly, giving her a condescending pat on the head.

She glowered, her eyes flashing. "Don't get ahead of yourself, thief."

Link smiled disarmingly, stepping back. "Now, let's go."

She blinked, scratching her collar in irritation as she glanced outside the wagon. The sun beamed down on her eyes, bright and intense. Her mind wailed in protest, demanding sleep. "Go where?"

Link's eyes lit up as he jumped off the wagon, sauntering to an abandoned bow left lying in the dusty clearing and swinging a quiver on his back. "Let's just say you haven't met _all_ my crewmembers."

"Why are you carrying a bow?" Zelda asked as she crawled out, following suit. He offered a hand, helping her down from the same window he had jumped out of.

Link smiled. "Let's just say Samus gets a little…testy in the early mornings…"

* * *

"Lupus, stop it!" Beck giggled as the wolf lopped on its side, resting its head against the child's knee contentedly.

Samus grinned from the branches of the oak tree that towered above them, her ponytail lashing out at the gusts of wind. She leaned against the bough of the tree, sighing as her tired eyes drifted shut. Link always did tease her about constantly missing her beauty sleep, and she always teased back by saying that he never did miss his.

"How did Lupus find us, Samus?" Beck called to her, his stubby fingers running through the wolf's fur. "Won't Link be happy once he finds out he's still alive?"

"Yes. He will." Samus nodded to herself. _'What will Lottie have to say about it, though?'_

"Boy, Lupus." Beck cooed to him, scratching his ears fondly. "You sure are a lot heavier now than you were back then."

The wolf barked in response, tail wagging as it thumped the ground rhythmically. Samus laughed.

Footsteps pounded down the slope of the forest ground behind her and Lupus jumped up, startled.

A voice crooned into the morning air, feminine and slightly perturbed. "What was that?"

A jaunty laugh came next and Samus peered over the tree. Link.

"This is exactly why I carry a bow." He hollered out to the woods. "Samus, I'm well armed, just in case you try anything funny!"

Samus laughed, leaping down from the tree and landing in a deft crouch, her eyes glimmering sharply. Link slid down the ragged incline of the ground, a young girl with golden hair following after him. Samus blinked at her. "You are…Zelda, right?"

The girl came to a stop as she landed rather unsteadily on her feet after jumping down from the slide. "Erm, yes. And you are…?"

"Oh!" Link jumped in, standing by her proudly as he made a theatric gesture towards her. "This, my dear Zelda, is Samus Aran! Former bounty hunter and my first-ever partner in crime!"

"It's nice to meet you, Samus." Zelda smiled, nearly offering her a hand to shake when the girl nodded curtly, turning away.

"Likewise."

Link scoffed behind Samus' retreating back. "I told you how cranky she gets in the mornings…"

Zelda glared at him disbelievingly, nudging him harshly in the ribs.

"Ahem!" Link cringed. "So, Samus…am I to assume _you_ were the one making those horrifyingly realistic animal noises?"

"No." The bounty huntress smiled as she turned and coaxed Lupus gently from Beck's hands. The wolf lopped to her, tail wagging happily.

Link's lips flicked open to a roguish grin and Zelda flinched back in alarm, gripping his arm tightly. "Good goddesses, is that…?"

She was cut off by Link's cheerful holler. "Lupus!"

The wolf froze, his ears straightening as his head snapped to face Link. Zelda let out a suppressed choke. "Link, stop!"

The wolf let out a bark into the air before breaking into a run, heading for Link with jaw open and eyes shining. It leapt for the thief who let out a startled 'oof!' as he was toppled to the ground harshly. Zelda jumped back, eyes wide open in horror. "Link!"

The wolf glanced up at her and immediately Zelda slapped a hand over her mouth. _Idiot! _

Link laughed from his sprawled position on the ground, taking delight at the undisguised horror on her face at his unaffected antics. "Zelda, meet Lupus. My favorite member of the troupe."

She stared at him, aghast, before returning her undivided attention to the hulking beast.

_'This day just keeps getting better and better…'_

* * *

More about Lupus at the next chapter. :)

Wow, I'm sorry if the chapter seems a bit drab/short. I was in a hurry to post because of my infuriating "Guilt Syndrome"

**[Additional Author Notes/Mindless Writing] : Read if you dare.**

I actually have the _gall_ to put on a smiley face it seems. I've been caught up watching some videos online and saw an LP for **Final Fantasy X**. I have an incurable yearning to play the game but apparently its for Playstation. :(

Ah, no matter! I have **Skyward Sword** to look forward to on my Wii! :D

**ALSO**, I got 5 shots from the hospital in ONE WEEK! 4 shots all in one day and a blood draw 3 days after! My favorite typing arm is unbelievably sore! _Owww..._

-Review to help numb the pain.

-HVM :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6: Yes, **_**that**_** time of the month**

Zelda wondered if Link was insane.

No, scratch that. She_ knew_ Link was insane. Just not to this degree.

_Psycopath, _her mind raced, outpaced only by her erratic heartbeat. Link, oblivious to all inner turmoil, grinned brightly at her, and if her head hadn't been too busy trying not to explode, she would have thought it to be (grudgingly) beautiful. _Loony. Off-his rocker, because people still say that right?_

_Right._

Link frowned.

"Zelda?"

She blinked.

Lupus drooled.

"Zelda," the thief said again, slowly—enunciating with painful clarity, as if she were a deranged child. He pointed to the wolf-beast-…_thing. "Lupus. _Meet Lupus. Say it with me, Zelda. _Luu-"_

"Oh, do stop, Link." Samus detached herself from the tree and sauntered over, arms akimbo as she sent the blond a quieting look. "You're terrifying the poor girl."

"_I _do not terrify girls. Lupus does. You should know that better than anyone because you nearly peed your pants when I first brought him home." Link gripped aforementioned wolf (-beast-_thing_) with a sturdy hold around the neck and urged him back, a safe distance away from Zelda who, he supposed, was on the verge of hyperventilating. "He doesn't bite. Well, not _usually._ He's docile around pretty girls."

"That's what Link told my sister," a boy piped up from Samus' side, shyly stepping out from her shadow. He beamed with an all-encompassing brightness that startled Zelda. "I'm Beck. You're pretty!"

"Beat it, Beck," Link huffed, arms tightening and muscles straining as Lupus made to duck under his hold. He grunted. "I already called dibs, so you might as well not try."

Beck groused, turning sullen. "You call dibs on anyone with a skirt, Link."

"Samus wears pants, see. She's been wearing pants for as long as I've known her, when she first peed on them—as I mentioned before. I'm leaving her on the market." Link supplied and Lupus rested his shaggy head on his knees, happily surrendering with his tongue lolling out and eyes dark. "Are you all right now, Zelda?"

"We're not bringing that…" she struggled with her words before gasping out, "that…_wolf _back to camp, are we?" She placed a heavy emphasis on 'wolf' in hopes of triggering something in the sane part of Link's mind. Perhaps alert him to the fact that wolves typically were not domestic, not people or Zelda-friendly to be exact, and had sharp teeth due to the fact that they were _carnivores_ and carnivores ate _meat, _which was what she was (unfortunately) made out of.

"Why, of course we are!" Link's eyes widened and his mouth fell open as if the idea of doing anything but were blasphemous. "Lupus is my little prodigy."

"It was once me," Beck cut in proudly.

"Yes, yes," Link consented grudgingly. "But Beck couldn't pick up the daily paper with his teeth, so…"

"How will Lottie take it, I wonder." Samus smirked. "You know she and Lupus don't get along well."

"Lupus and _her," _Link corrected, then paused with a frown settling on his brows. He turned to Zelda. "Right?"

She flushed red, astonished at his lack of tact. "I am not having a discussion about grammar with you. I will _never_ have _any _form of discussion with you if you take that…that—"

"Wolf," Link said.

"—yes, that wolf back to camp. Do you understand, Link?"

"But _Zeldaaa-"_

"Don't _Zeldaaa _me. You need to keep him," she jutted her chin back to Lupus "out here. In the woods. Where he belongs. Because _he's a wolf."_

"Ah," Link tutted, shaking his head. "But wolves are so very useful, Zelda. They-they can bark! You know, to scare off enemies. And catch game! And-and—"

"—pick up the daily paper," Beck offered dryly. "With their teeth."

"Fangs. They're called fangs." Zelda crossed her arms. "Or very sharp incisors."

"Lottie won't like this, Link." Samus copied Zelda's tone and rested a hand on her hip. "You're going to have to compromise with her. And her," she said, jerking her head towards a placated Zelda who nodded in turn.

"Goddesses, why are you ganging up on me?" Link cried, blue eyes wide and mouth tilted down to a pout. Lupus whined and burrowed his head into the young man's shirt, tail drooping to the ground. Link yelped in indignation. "See, you made him sad!"

"I'll make you sad very soon if you don't stop complaining," Samus grinded out through bared teeth.

Link hesitated, feeling something much like dread coil around his chest. He was losing this fight. And whenever he was losing a fight, there was only one thing to do.

It was a cheap shot, he was well-aware, but this was a desperate enough situation with two obviously displeased females—he had worked out a theory that it was, indeed, _that_ time of the month again—already breathing down his neck, on the verge of a nagging hysteria.

He threw a quick look back at Beck who, upon seeing the message conveyed through said look, nodded stiffly and marched towards them, placing himself between the two girls and Link.

Zelda looked puzzled, and the fire behind her eyes flickered in confusion. "Aa?"

Beck breathed in sharply, casting a look back at the ground with tight shoulders, as if readying himself for something truly strenuous.

Link bit his lip in anticipation. Samus' eyes were frosty, wariness lingering in her expression, and he bit down even harder because this _had to work._ If not, well-

-hell would freeze over.

An hour seemed to pass. A lifetime. A millennium. And finally Beck lifted his head—

Zelda gaped and the bounty huntress stilled all over.

"That's _low_, Link," Samus growled out, spite heating the edge of her voice.

* * *

"You cook?"

Lottie pursed her lips as soon as the question left her mouth. Malon stopped in her stirring and her lips curled up to a soft smile.

"Yes. You sound surprised."

"Hey, it better not be spaghetti." Mikau scowled and leaned back against the bark of the tree, setting a blanket over his legs. "Din knows I've had enough of that _god-awful_ pasta Luigi makes."

"_Hey!"_

"Soup," Malon said, leaning over the pot to check before setting a lid over it. She sent Lottie an unreadable look and sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Don't worry. I didn't poison it."

Lottie's eyes darkened, the campfire's light flickering over them before fading away into the bottomless black. She spun on her heels, turning her back to the redhead, and marched back to tend to the fire, muttering sourly under her breath.

"I do not understand why a noblewoman would need to know something so basic and mundane when she has servants and maids doting on her every waking moment of her life."

Malon locked her jaw and exhaled sharply through her nose. Mikau, muscles tightening from the tangible tension that hung in the air, laughed meekly. "You two…have some unresolved issues, huh?"

Luigi sighed, voice practically dripping with self-pity. "This wouldn't have even started if you had just let me cook."

"I'd rather chew broken glass than let you cook again."

Studiously ignoring them, Malon glared at Lottie over the fire, eyes blazing blue. "I'm sorry if my father's money offends you somehow. But it doesn't give you the excuse to act so…so…_unpleasant!"_

"_Unpleasant?" _Lottie's voice was thick with disbelief. Her eyes narrowed and she stood tall before turning her head back to Mikau who flinched at the spot. "I'm _unpleasant_, apparently. Did you hear that?"

Weakly, Mikau nodded his head. "…yes."

"Just because I'm not throwing myself at your feet and bowing before your _highness _doesn't mean that I'm _unpleasant. _Right, Mikau?" she asked—or, rather, demanded—coupling her question with a glare that could have cut through diamonds.

"A—ah…"

"See? Right there, you're proving to all of us how insufferably set you are on making me seem as if I'm some sort of villain." Malon stomped her dainty feet on the ground and Lottie smirked at the sight.

"You don't belong here is all. And Link is too stubborn to accept the fact because you—you _tricked him _into thinking-"

"Tricked him?" Malon hissed out, mouth twitching in a dangerous way that made Luigi's spin tingle in discomfort. She turned to him, her eyes nothing but blue slits, and her cheeks were flushed tomato-red. "Did you hear that? Just because Link sees me as an actual person doesn't mean that I've _tricked _him. Right, Luigi?"

"A—ah…"

"If anyone's been tricked, it's _me! _And don't you dare start off about how Link just took me in out of the goodness of his heart, or how he's some martyr who saw a shred of humanity within my _rupee-corrupted _soul-"

"Oi. I see I've arrived at a pivotal point in your conversation."

All heads snapped towards the shadows where the blond troupe-leader sauntered out, grinning devilishly. "Oh," he said, noticing the harried looks both girls were directing his way. "Do continue, Malon. I believe you left off at the part…ah, something about the goodness of my heart?"

Silence.

Malon glared at Link.

Lottie glared at Link.

Mikau looked like he wanted the ground to eat him up.

Luigi looked despairingly at the pot Malon's soup was currently burning—er, cooking—in, the last part not fully registering in his mind.

Link cursed whoever was enjoying his pain up above because being verbally abused by all the female members in his troupe was not what he considered a fun time. He glared back, though at no one in particular.

Was _every single girl _in Hyrule going through _that _time of the month? It certainly seemed so.

He heard Zelda and Samus trail behind him, stomping on the ground. Beck's lighter footsteps were heralded by Lupus' near soundless trot.

Lottie stopped glaring and Link started breathing normally again.

Her eyes went wide, and Malon shrieked, jumping in place as she pointed a finger at Lupus—currently leashed by Beck who pinned them all with an ear-to-ear grin.

"No!" Malon shouted, voice shrill and piercing. She pointed at Link and jabbed the air before him for emphasis. "No, no, _no!"_

"Malon—"

"No. I draw the line at crazy, conceited, logic-deprived blonde men. I _will not _be traveling with a _wolf!"_

"Hey!" Link protested. "When did I ever say the wolf was going to travel with us?"

"So he isn't?" Malon raised a brow and Link had the grace to look slightly sheepish.

"No. He is."

"Link…" Lottie ground out his name, voice dangerously shaky.

Luigi and Mikau exchanged looks of disconcertion. They had hardly ever seen Lottie so openly worked up toward their troupe leader.

"Ah…" Link muttered, visibly nervous under her hard gaze. "Aa. Well, see-"

"Beck." Lottie's voice was cold. The little boy stiffened, knuckles paling as his fist tightened on Lupus' leash. "Get away from that thing."

"Lottie, it's fine. Lupus isn't dangerous. He's—"

"_Get away from him!"_

Beck flinched, and the leash fell to the ground. Lupus froze, tail drooping to the ground.

"Lottie…" his voice was soft and almost akin to that of a baby's. "He saved me."

Lottie went rigid, her face clearing of emotion in an instant.

"Er…" Link tugged at his collar, practically feeling the waves of anger rolling over Zelda and Samus.

Mikau fidgeted. "Anyone else smell something burning?"

Malon gasped. "My soup?"

"You can burn soup?" Zelda scrunched her nose and heads swiveled their way. She grimaced and Samus shot her a dark look from the corner of her eyes.

_Not the time. Really._

Lottie's face darkened considerably, fleeting over the blond before settling on Lupus.

"I'm sleeping early tonight," she gnashed out before stomping back to the caravan.

Silence ensued.

Luigi bit at his nails.

Malon threw out her soup.

Link sighed, and for once his face was eerily devoid of emotion. He turned to Beck and smiled half-heartedly.

"You three go for a walk with Lupus. I'll talk to her."

"No, I should talk to her."

Link grinned, shaking his head slowly. "Nah. Those puppy-dog eyes won't work on her, Beck."

"But!"

"Come on," Samus huffed under her breath as Link's eyes met hers over the boy's head. She swept Beck up—earning her a small, childish pout—and slung him over her shoulder. Stooping down, she hooked her finger around Lupus' leash and tugged rougly, forcing the wolf back on his heels and dragging him after her.

Zelda followed hesitantly.

Link steeled himself and walked to the caravan.

* * *

Malon slept by the campfire, stomach empty and hands slightly warm from handling the soup.

Luigi looked at Mikau.

Mikau looked back at Luigi.

Their stomachs growled in unison.

The crickets chirped to their hearts' content until—

"…You want me to make spag-"

_"No!"_

* * *

_Author's Note:_

**I have no words. :(**_  
_

**Well, I do actually. I left this story like this for nearly a year. Unforgivable, yes. The fact that this chapter's practically bursting with cheesy jokes and shamelessly exploiting Lottie's hidden past? _SO UNFORGIVABLE._**

**Commence the metaphorical slaps in the face from the reviewers (because you will review, right? Right?).**

**...I think I used the word metaphorical wrong.**

**Anyway.**

**I've been gone for so long and when I came back I found out you could have IMAGES FOR YOUR STORY and it blew. my. mind.  
**

**Too bad I can't draw. Or update stories on time for that matter. :(**

**I'm going through the moving blues and hysteria thing right now. So I've been playing Skyward Sword up to the point where my eyes bleed (but not really). Hero Mode is...is..._ARRRGH._**

**_I got another shot too! Hahahaha...-cries-. It seems I only update this story when I get jabbed in the arm by a needle. _**

**Review. It won't take a year next time. PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE.**

**-HVM**


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